Thursday, February 15, 2007

Dorian Gray Reaction Question 5-6

A QUOTE FROM CHAPTER FIVE, PAGE 70 (might be different depending on the book)
“Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.”
What’s your opinion about this quote? Is it true in reality?

24 Comments:

Blogger Scott M said...

I would say that this quote is true for many people today. I think all of us started out by loving our parents when we were young. Then some people moved on to a stage where they were not really sure if their parents really knew best. For me this time was middle school where I thought I was a big rebel and didn’t think my parents knew what was best for me. I don’t really know why he says, “they forgive them” because in my experience there wasn’t forgiveness when I decided to start listening to them again. I think that it is interesting that Wilde could see this happening in his world and it is still a common trend today.

February 15, 2007 10:30 AM  
Blogger Kurt W. said...

I agree with Scott. I believe that Wilde means that people begin by listening to and respecting their parents. Then, as they age, people rebel. Hopefully, people reconcile with their parents and come to respect them again. I think that most teenagers feel some sort of angst towards their parents. I know that I feel like I can make decisions on my own and that I do not need my parents to help me with my decisions. I still feel like I respect my parents now, and I hope that I continue to do so.

February 15, 2007 12:58 PM  
Blogger jessg said...

I think that at a young age, we do as we are told and believe what we see. As we grow older however, we grow wiser which causes us to question the world around us instead of accepting everything that is presented to us. In this way, we begin to judge our parents. This may come not as a form of rebellion as Scott and Kurt said, but more as a reaction to our growing knowledge. We judge everything and test everything in an attempt to learn all that there is to know. We learn through experience. As far as forgivness is concerned, I don't think that we really ever feel a need to forgive our parents for as we grow older and smarter, we realize that they were just trying to lead us in the best way they saw fit in order for us to learn in the most positive manner.

February 15, 2007 3:26 PM  
Blogger zverges said...

I think that the quote is correct and incorrect. Everyone has a moment or a number of moments in their life where they becaome all-knowing and they do not listen to those around them. Most of the time it is in the teenage years of ones life. However, it may not always be because they do not love their parents or they are judging their parents, I believe that part of becoming an individual adult is making your own opinions. Part of staying true to yourself and your own opinions may include not listening to your parents or judging the foundations of their decision-making. I would say that I have always loved my parents. However, I would also say that I have always juged them as well. Until I understand the philosophy of their beliefs and choices for myself, then I will continue to "sit on the fence." (I try to do my "fence sitting" as respectively as I can though. There is no point in disrespecting parents just because you do not agree or understand them.) On the aspect of forgiveness, I think that most people are willing to forgive one another in most cases. I also think that many people hold secret grudges when an offense is too personal, but that could just be me.

February 15, 2007 3:48 PM  
Blogger Haley C said...

i think that when we are kids, we love our parents unconditionally and respect their word because we dont know any better. When we mature, we find that we are able to think for ourselves, and then we begin to question everything. I think that most people will always respect their parents, but there are the few people that go aginst everything because they believe that they are right now matter what. I agree with Jess when she says that we never really have to forgive our parents because in reality they never did anything but try and give us the best life possible.

February 15, 2007 4:04 PM  
Blogger ashleyg said...

I agree with Kurt. When people are born they love their parents simply because they do not know how or that they even can do anything else. As they get older they experience different things and are influenced by different people. Most of the time they will end up arguing with their parents and not always comming to an agreement. When the quote says that sometimes they forgive them I feel that they are saying that some of the fights are so hostile that relationships are damaged. Sometimes people hold a grudge and sometimes they learn to work things out.

February 15, 2007 4:19 PM  
Blogger Nick W said...

In my opinion I think this quote means that we are younger we love to be around our parents and do everything with them. We don't need to have friends as long as we have our parents when we are young. But as we grow older we beging to think that we know everything and dont need our parents. We begin to fight with them more and are embarassed by our parents. Of course we still love them, but we much rather be with our friends. So I think this quote is true.

February 15, 2007 5:02 PM  
Blogger alexmu said...

I agree with Haley. Being young and going through the process of gowing up, kids naturally respect and love thier parents. As kids mature, so do their thoughts. When kids' experiences influence their views on different subjects, those thoughts could be differnt than that of their parents. This could be why Wilde says "they forgive them". They could be forgiving their parents for teaching them one thing when they completely disagree with them.

February 15, 2007 5:14 PM  
Blogger alex ma said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 15, 2007 6:09 PM  
Blogger alex ma said...

I think that just about everyone would agree with this quote- everyone was a child once, everyone rebelled at one point in their life, everyone questions authority. I think that the quote is kinda vauge, but i guess that's why it can apply to all times. It's human nature to do those things, so i think that as long as humans or the way families work doesnt change, then this quote will be true.

February 15, 2007 6:10 PM  
Blogger Marie P said...

I think that the basis of this question deals with perception. When we are younger we look up to our parents as role models because they are the only ones we know well enough to. As we grow we meet new people and create an opinion on what characteristics of a person are good or bad. This may then lead to a negative perception of our parents as we are older and more mature. We can see their faults and failures unlike when we were children blinded by a limitation of the world.

February 15, 2007 6:58 PM  
Blogger KatieA said...

I do agree with this comment, we do grow up loving our parents. And when we grow up and go out into the real world we start to judge our parents on how they raised us. why we are they way we are. And if we have a problem with they way they raised us or the way we turned out, then maybe with time we will forgive them. But I dont think everyone will need to forgive their parents for things they did when they were growing up.I feel like I am one of those people. I will not need to forgive them, I couldnt have asked for better parents.

February 15, 2007 7:59 PM  
Blogger StaceyK said...

I think when children are young they love their parents beacuse usually they spend most the time with them, they are like their friends. Then when we start growing up and beginning to hang out with kids from school or whatever they start to be our best friends and they are the ones that influence us instead of our parents. Then you really start to get away from your parents, you never want to be seen with them beacuse you are embarrased. We think whatever they say is wrong and we are right, we do whatever we can to get away from them, and if they tell us one thing we do another. Then later on we will think that it was stupid on what we did, beacuse your parents are always right, they know whats best for you, they raised you. Then when we become mature we will forgive for being dumb. So i think that the quote from chapter five is very true.

February 15, 2007 8:05 PM  
Blogger levik said...

This quote is somewhat true but also makes a generalization that I do not fully agree with. I do believe that when people are very young they love their parents because they provide food, care, love, protection, and anything else a child might need. I also agree with the second part of the quote that says people start to judge their parents. Everyone looks back and wonders if their parents raised them the right way. They decide if they were treated fairly and treated well overall. The third part of the quote is what bothers me a little bit. Some people might feel that their parents wronged them in some way and that forgiveness is in order. In my opinion this quote states that all parents need to say sorry for what they have done and how they have raised their child. I think that many parents should not feel guilty about the way they have handled their kids. Lots of parents have raised children just fine and no forgiveness needs to be given. The statement, "sometimes they forgive them" implies that the parent is always guilty, and only some of the time they get off the hook with their child's forgiveness. I disagree with this philosophy and way of looking at parenting.

February 15, 2007 8:28 PM  
Blogger Kyle G said...

I agree with this quote, because to me it is very true. All children start out by loving their parents, they see them as the most important people in the world, let alone the best. But, as time goes on, I think that children begin to see the flaws in their parents, the mistakes that they made, and certain things about them that tend to ruin the past perception that the child had of the parent. As for "sometimes they forgive them," I don't necessarilly agree that this means that the parents are always guilty or that they should feel guilty. I think that it means that the child forgives their parents for their flaws, and for their mistakes, and goes back to loving them almost as much as they did as a child. However, as the quote implies, parents do sometimes do things that cannot be forgiven, and that's why children only "sometimes" forgive them.

February 15, 2007 9:19 PM  
Blogger ZachM said...

I agree with this point to a certain extent. I do believe that we grow up loving our parents. I also believe when we are young we idolize our parents and think that they are perfect. As we grow up we our childhood hero-worship does away and we start to look at our parents more as equals and hold them accountable. We start to see some of their faults. I don't think there is anything wrong with that and I definitely don't believe that we stop loving them. If anything the realization that they aren't perfect should make us love them more. Of course this isn't always the case. There are relationships that are the complete opposite. Unlike Levi I do think that parents can make mistakes that require forgiveness, or acceptance, for that relationship to exist. But Wilde makes it sound as if that is always the case, and I don't think that is true. That’s my perception but I can only speak from the experience I have had.

February 15, 2007 9:28 PM  
Blogger David L said...

I do agree with this quote for several reasons. It seems most everybody agrees that children grow up loving their parents because that is what they know and think they are "supposed" to do. Later on, though, I think we like to challenge the rules that society has given us. We judge our parents because they often try to mold us into society, and just as often times teenagers challenge the law, authority, etc., we challenge our parents and their perspectives. The last part of this quote intrigues me. I disagree with what Levi said about the necessity of forgiveness coming through in this line. I think that Wilde is saying that, no matter how great a parent someone is, there will always be sometime when they were unfair, unjust, or wrong in the eyes of the right person. Some people recognize these errors and forgive their parents, while others might be resentful or too deeply hurt to forgive their parents. Others still might not see a need for forgiveness, and so don't forgive their parents because their "offenses" were so irrelevant or done in the name of love and don't warrant forgiveness. Instead of being exclusive only to those who feel wrong by their parents, I think this quote can be applied to just about anyone who grows up with their parents.

February 15, 2007 9:30 PM  
Blogger sonnyw said...

Sometimes I wonder who is the most critical of parenting--the child or the parent themself. Truthfully, there is no "right" way to raise a child that is guaranteed to make them into a "good person". I imagine that parents inevitably realize they cannot answer every question; I imagine this simple fact scares them. If a parent feels they made a mistake, feels they acted wrongly or unjustly, it will be hard for a child to forgive them. Yet perhaps it's even harder for the parent to forgive themself, knowing that a single action may influence their child for the rest of their life.

Sibyl's mother treats life as one big theatrical production, maybe it's because she wishes to escape this parental pressure. Ironically, this attitude seems to have passed to Sibyl as well--but who knows whether this trait is good or bad for Sibyl herself?

February 15, 2007 10:32 PM  
Blogger AdamSG said...

As we are younger our parents give us everything that we wish for, and basically love us for just being there, we have no responibility, but as we are older we have more responibility, and instead of having just a parent tell you everything you want to hear, you are judged by your actions, and as you are judged, they are judged by you. As they forgive you, you forgive them. I think we do the same thing as our parents without really realizing it. So its kind of a cycle. I also think the fact that they control your life for so long has a lot to do with that issue. Sometimes parents abuse that fact, and take to much advantage of that.

February 16, 2007 9:17 AM  
Blogger Mark C said...

I would generally agree with the quote, in terms of as a child, one loves their parents. As a teenager, they judge or rebel from them and as an adult they realize their parents point of view and forgive them. However, I think the last step is more than just forgiving them, it is more of asking FOR forgiveness for their judgement and rebellion during the teenage years

February 16, 2007 9:31 AM  
Blogger DaveV said...

I completely agree with that statement. When your younger, you just inately love your parents, but as you get older you begin to gain more free thinking and your own personal opinions. I think it's only natural to judge people, all people, and that includes your parents. I mean i gguess it's possible to actually dislike your parents after you form an opinion after judging them. As far as the forgiving thing..i don't really see what theyre being forgiven for. So for the most part i think that this quote holds true because it's just a part of human nature to judge people including your own parents.

February 16, 2007 9:34 AM  
Blogger NathanK said...

Just as everyone has said I think this is a very true statement. We all admire and respect our parents when we are young but eventually we start thinking for ourselves. Not that what we think is against what our parents taught us in every situation, we don't, but to form our own thoughts and experiences we have to make our own mistakes. Our parents are trying to protect us from these but we rebel and make them anyway. The very last piece I am glad has the "sometimes" because there is not always anything for the child to forgive the parent for other then trying to protect the child.

February 16, 2007 9:49 AM  
Blogger AmyB said...

This quote is very powerful to me, i think it is so true in life. When we are younger we love our parents no matter what, as we get older we lern things about our parents that we never would of thought of, so we judge them, or we might judge them because they are punishing us for things that they did when they were younger as well. Then we have to decide if we should forgive them or not. It is so true and i know that this exact thing has happened to me and my parents.

February 16, 2007 10:04 AM  
Blogger Matt W said...

I agree with sonny in that both the children and the parents become critical of the parents as the child grows older. The child seems to gain experience and wisdom with each passing year, and they tend to apply that wisdom in their analysis of their parents actions. Similarly, as the parents watch the child grow up, they begin to see things in the child that causes them to wonder what they may have done right, or wrong. I think this quote is very true in that the child may in time forgive their parents (even when no forgiveness is needed) because of the realization of the fact that the parents simply did the absolute best that they could in the given situation.

February 16, 2007 10:33 AM  

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